SIWA

hey! i wrote this travel story about siwa.. i wanna share!


Siwa Gives a Lesson In Fear

You can never find what you're looking for while searching. Only when your mind flouts, and you travel away, you capture it. It can take a blink of an eye, or eternity.

Siwa taught me this. I wouldn’t need to clarify what the place is if it got the same media attention as the pyramids, or the Eifel Tower . Still, it was a destination worth it all.

It took me 11 hours riding a public bus to get there from Cairo . Unlike the pyramids, Siwa doesn’t attract many tourists; or at least, many conventional tourists; those speaking an Arabic word like "ezayak" to say hello and automatically then, consider themselves living the "Egyptian experience". No, no. Siwa is different; not many manage to get there; but whom does, Siwa makes sure to give them the reward they deserve.

Siwa is an isolated oasis that have been settled since the 10th millennium BC, at least. In 2007 , the world’s oldest human footprint was discovered there that was about 3 million years old.

How significant are we in the face of time?

This is precisely why I take photos: to immortalize it, this life, as I come to know it , and let it be.

When I first laid eye on Siwa, it reminded me of a scene from an old movie I watched. It was a beautiful afternoon; tiny mud houses stood beside each other, donkey carts eagerly made their way to cross from one street to the other, and men sipped their Bedouin dark tea while having shisha (hookah). Those donkey carts were taxis since there were no car taxis. Women didn’t occupy much of the public space; when I looked around attempting to spot some, I saw two women carrying bread as they held their children's hand.

Let me just say that Siwa isn’t the typical recommended place for tourists. Globalization hasn’t yet left its fingerprints on Siwa's features ; unlike Cairo where one can see KFC in the middle of the dessert beside the pyramids. There are only local restaurants that turned out to serve the best "fatir" ever. It's similar to a pie , just one thousand times better. When I asked the waiter where it’s originally from , he proudly announced : men hena (from here). My skeptic Egyptian friend, Ahmed, said that it’s originally from Turkey , but here, Egyptians are too proud to admit that amazing things do come from elsewhere. I laughed, and teased him saying, “ well, they have every reason in the world to think so.” He grinned admitting that at the end of the day, he does feel the same way.

I also had a fool sandwich (brown beans) with black tea that’s popular in Siwa. I thought that "consuming" this sandwich here, in this so-called third world , has safer effects on the world than the sandwiches produced in the first world by industries that hire underpaid illegal immigrants and slaughter cows inhumanely. Eating that food sandwich was eco-friendly, I happily concluded.

That’s what's so unique about travelling; it allows you to re- label things that you took for granted.

The Bedouins taught me how to live life to its fullest, even when I’m not feeling 100 percent secure, but this didn’t happen on the first or second day , or even the third. In the beginning, I was just too nervous and self-cautious that I’ll be ripped off or harassed. This perception started changing when Bedouins kept persistently inviting us to have lunch and dinner with them; they always offered the widest smiles and kindest gestures.

My American friend, Sarah, dropped her wallet when we touring the village; a Bedouin picked it up and ran to catch us and give it back. We offered him money to thank him; he strongly refused as if we were offending him. After this, I thought , “ maybe Siwa isn’t the dangerous place I’d imagined. Maybe it’s all in my head”.

I have never gone sand surfing, and honestly speaking, never planned to. We rented bicycles to go to the ancient fortress , known as (Shali Ghali). Our Egyptian guide , Khaled, told us that the British and German army fought in Siwa in the First and Second World War. He then sarcastically added that not only people come here to fight, but also to sand surf; I immediately exclaimed, “thanks, but I didn’t come here to kill myself.”

And there it came, the answer.. softly spoken by Khaled,

“ Sam, I went to Beirut in summer 2006. And guess what? It was war, bloody war. But there and then , only there and then , did I learn what it meant to live. Obviously, it was dangerous in the streets. But, lovers were passionately hugging beside the beautiful sea. Shop owners refused to close. Men and Women were laughing as they sipped coffee.

Were they scared? I bet they were, as hell.

But , they didn’t let the fright strong enough to stop them from living. And this is life Sam. You take a risk, you innovate. You come up with all these new things. Will you be afraid to try them because you might be rejected or maybe even harmed? definitely yes; it’s a fact of being. Plus, fear keeps you from falling from the edge, it’s for balance. But , whether or not you allow fear to stop you being the person you truly are remains the question, the ultimate question. And in the end, this defines your life.”

And this was it; the moment I learnt, the moment I realized how it ought to be .

When exactly do we lose the courage of the child within? Is it the culture? Or maybe the media? But the media is there to help us discover and explore. And exploration never happens without courage, and a decent amount of fear.

On that day, Khaled taught me what I needed to know; about the tomorrow I’ll have to make and the everlasting voyage this phenomenal life truly is.

I did sand surf , and it made all the difference in my world.

Is AUC a High School?!

Is AUC a high school?

Because the last time I checked AUC's official website, it explicitly said "AUC is the region’s premier English-language university." Not only is it considered a university then, but also a premier one. I started elaborating more on my little discovery; what constitutes a university by definition?

Well, students must be a basic part of this prestigious educational institution. Unfortunately, the vast majority is not concerned whatsoever with academics. Many deserve high honors and mastery in being "drama queens". Others just sit around lazily doing nothing as the day unfolds.

As an international student, I expected to learn more about Egypt partially from the students. On the contrary, I was more knowledgeable on the politics, economy, and society of this part of the region than Egyptian AUCians .

According to the website, AUC serves as "forum for reasoned argument, spirited debate and global understanding." How influential will AUC be if this "reasoned argument" and "global understanding" was only limited to a small minority? Or are we, also here, caught in big titles and labels that convey everything but reality? Is it a trend in the Arab World to have words more than actual efficiency?

And what will happen to Egypt's grass root? At the end of the days, AUCians are considered the leaders who play an essential role in the development and prosperity of the region. What will the end be to the father who supports 5 children with a wage that doesn't exceed 5 pounds a day (and we all know what that means)? Who will create a better system that will protect such individuals?

"The majority of AUCians are not concerned with the world outside their bubble. They don't consciously think of the people of this country," An anonymous student said.

Was AUC more selective decades ago? Or is it the generation of today?

If the fruits of a tree became dry, could we infer that the roots are infected, maybe just not strong enough to last?

We can totally ignore this idea and simply indulge ourselves back in our luxurious life. But sooner or later, Egypt will rise and it will be such a defeat if AUC was in the margins.

my thoughts ..

When I was at high school, I got "the most beautiful smile" title. There was no way I could have gotten the "miss beauty" one; beauty in my school was never defined as: a girl who laughs and eats and talks all at the same time, wears funky clothes, goes to a custom party as a "boy " while the rest of the girls took it as a chance to be perfect "miss universe" and a way to dress slutty without being judged; I never saw rabbits and cats in nature that looked this hot!The funny thing is that my school "hot shots" hit on me all night long; I don’t know was it the mustache or the suit that attracted them. i think I was a handsome young gentleman; yes, I even opened doors for the hot rabbits!!

My best friend told me then: you shine Sam. That’s why you have this gorgeous smile.

I learnt what this really meant when I lost it.

I was too young then to realize that it might just be gone; that it might just go away; the life within; that it might be stolen when I'm not looking ; when I'm overwhelmed by "not – my –best " life experiences; when life become too harsh and complicated for me to handle ; when I'm disappointed so many times that I start doubting what I took for granted.

Things happened so fast my senior year, I didn't stop to look at the mirror to see if I can recognize myself. Then, I came to cairo to study at AUC.

All the girls I knew freshmen year transformed to the norm of an AUCian girl : Miss looking perfect 24/7 every single day 365 days a year with a frown. For some mysterious reason, a smiley face wasn’t very popular among girls.

I became that girl; always dressing perfectly and walking around with this ugly frown ( the hot rabbits and cats in high school still looked gorgeous without having the frown).

It was a foggy day in winter when I had my revelation. I was going through some old writings of mine when I stopped at these words written in a messy 10 years old handwriting: I don’t want to grow up to be like " adults" whom I dislike. I want to stay me; enjoy simple things and truly love people.I don’t want to let any bad experience change how I look at life; at the magic of life, and love.I promise I wont lose myself as I grown old.

It just hit me; I became this person who does things the way everybody does, faceless, and sad in the inside. I had to save myself; I needed to change.

I am writing these words to open this new page in my life; I never wanted to be conventional; I went to journalism school when I had a scholarship to go to medicine school. I would theorize why people aren't satisfied in their lives at the age of 7. I would sit on a slide and believe im the queen of the world. I still belive in an unconditional love that never ends.and yes, miracles do happen.

isnt it interesting?

hey! i wrote this profile about this egyptian director. i think hes an interesting guy. i thought of sharing it with you :

In a world where people usually choose to do, be, and think the same, a few forge their own way. These few add color to the world of television re-runs, identical pop songs, and cookie-cutter fashion.

They are not seen on TV not only because they stand behind the camera, but also because they are not appreciated by the masses that value commercial films. These few choose to stay independent; to be different.

In a city rich in culture, history, even the lower class misery, Tamer El-Said started his own legacy. Born in Cairo in 1972, El-Said chose to be an independent film maker.

A director for several short films and documentaries, El-Said participated in several film festivals like Aspen Short Film Festival.

For El-Said, being an independent film maker is about being sincere to himself. It is how much he sticks to his vision and not let the market affects his choices in making movies.

El-Said portrays films as human beings with souls. "You can never be happy if you lose your soul throughout the making of the film,"El-Said said.

Films allow El-Said to express his thoughts and discover his soul through film making. El-Said said, "Life is a journey of self discovery. I create movies that help me do so."

El-Said believes that we tend to talk to people who are like us; people who share our same values, thoughts, and perspective of the world. We do this because it is safer and more comfortable.

This does not help us progress since civilizations develop through clashes between different points of view.

"Laziness is in our human nature; we want to unify everything", El-Said said. "It is very arrogant to sit in the cinema and expect to get everything doing nothing." Film is a form of art; just like literature ", El-Said added.

It is a struggle between the commercial and the alternative. The alternative is anything outside the mainstream. El-Said is not against commercial films; he is just against them deleting him.

People usually go to the movies with previous expectations. If what the movie pictures differ from their expectations, they judge it being "bad", El-Said said.

People have a reference for everything; whether it is for relationships or going to the opera house. They carry their judgments from one story to another and live the same pattern over and over again.

"This reference ruins what they are living now. People should give themselves the chance to taste things openly," El-Said said.

"I deal with films with no expectations or references. I open my heart to feel new things, break the rules, and get out of the box people try to put me in", added El-Said.

"The camera is a strange piece of metal. It is like a lie detector. You can never lie to yourself or the audience," El-Said said.

Every once in a while, a film maker's inner vision succeeds with the masses, other times it does not. It is as simple as this.
"That is why artists should never believe their publicity. I got lucky with On A Monday in terms of box office, but I do not expect this to happen every single time I direct a movie," El-Said said.

The best way to live life is to be fully charge of something." The films I direct are my responsibility. I create films that are in harmony with my feelings, "El-Said said.

Ahmed Nasri, an Egyptian film critic, said, "El-Said uses his imagination to get out of what the masses are used to. He has the guts to do so. And what can I say? He always succeeds in creating magnificent pieces of art."
"El-Said has the gift of reaching the audience. He presents his creative thoughts smoothly in a way that captures the audience, "Sarah Bendy, an Egyptian film editor, said.

El-Said was awarded the Special Jury Award (2005) in Sakia Festival for Short Feature Films. On a Monday, a film about a middle aged couple discovering affection in their marriage, won the best short film in the Eleventh National Film Festival for the Egyptian Cinema, Cairo.

For some artists, the measure of success is publicity and profit-making. For more courageous artists, success is a matter of being innovative.

And let it be said that the Nile witnessed the birth of such artists in the shadows of this ancient city.

president arnold and auc

it was said at the forum that classes weren't affected by the short semester. well, i believe that now, we're getting more papers and exams than we usually do cause everything is condensed. and im pissed; cause i wanna do all these things and i dont wanna school work to affect it. when im 60 years old, i wont remember the random paper i did for some class im not interested in (since there are certain classes that one must take at auc), but ill remember my adventures with my friends, the amazing books i read since i wanna be a novelist , and just the real life here. yes, im interested in journalism classes, but it's only one class that im taking. i have this rhet201 class and its just so boring.. it's academic writing (which made me realize i dont wanna be an academic even if its more prestigous than being a journalist).. after all, i didnt choose journalism for socio economic reasons but simply cause it's my passion to write from and about the people- the real people..

i think this is the best semester during my stay in cairo cause im balancing- to a certain extent- between school and my personal/social life..

:)

i think its a matter of being focused when doing things.. like when studying you're really studying and engaged.. and when you're going out you're really in it and enjoying it not thinking about what you should do tomorrow

:)

as the semester unfold, i realize what such a rich expereince it was.. hopefully, it will only bring the best,,

A good semester!

As the semester unfolds and reach the end, I realize that this was indeed a good semester. I learnt a lot about myself and journalism , made a bunch of amazing friends, and got more focused in my life. Yesterday we had this floor meeting in the military hotel. They told us that there will be NO on campus housing next semester. For me, this is good because I’m trying to get an internship this spring (after my failed attempts to get an internship in the winter). I will live- enshala- in maadi which will allow me to easily go to downtown where most of the news agencies are. I’m excited for the Eid holiday – not because ill spend it with family since im in Egypt and they’re in Jordan , but because I’ll be able to study for my gre. Since in winter, I get distraced cause I go to Jordan and I see all my family and friends (which can be overwhelming)

AUC students are active!!yaaaaay!

OK , so , president Arnold announced that he won't give part of the tuition back since AUC charges students on a credit basis, not on a weekly basis. he also added that he is sure professors are managing to deliver quality education in this short semester. so , i decided to gather signatures from professors who think otherwise.My concern is that i won't find professors willing to do so since the administration might get pissed.i will go for it but if it turned out to be a bad experience i will just stop because my time is more precious than wasting it on something with no results. I'm impressed by students because they are usually just like :whatever, but during the strike and after, they were so active. Go AUC students!! I'll update you with what happens with my signature thing/ 

my work

hey! heres a piece i wrote for auc .. it was edited and published in caravn :)..


Determined to being independent and gaining access to equal opportunities, Abd El-Ghani Barakat , a freshmen at the American University in Cairo(AUC) with visual impairment , finds it hard to mobilize himself to the new campus.

After managing to live on his own in the U.S for a year, Barakat said he must work on his “independent self “on campus .Barakat finds that AUC lacks mobility experts.

Although the structure of the new campus was designed to accommodate people with health concerns or physical challenges, students find it excessively hard to move from one place to another.

But this isn’t what the associate dean of students in the counseling center, Mohammed Feteha, thinks.

"Students with visual impairments are being assisted by volunteers or paid students," said Feteha.

AUC can now accept students with visual impairments. The new campus infrastructure, like the parking lots and the rest rooms, is handicapped friendly, said Feteha.

Sherif Sadek, the transportation director, admitted that the campus lacks sufficient tools for movement.

“We still don’t have the capacity to facilitate the needs of each and every student”, said Sadek.

There are two passenger club carts and 20 cargo club carts. The rest of the club carts will arrive on October 24th for internal movement, while an AUC ambulance car will arrive in two weeks, said Sadek

As a response for how to use the carts in case of health emergency, students can dial 2222 on campus to request one, said Sadek.

Though AUC is still investigating the practicality of providing passenger carts as a service, said Sadek.

Feteha said it would be "dangerous" to use passenger carts to drive students with visual impairments. "There will be a need for reliable drivers."

Some students are being seen using their scooter or skate board to easily move.

Using skate boards can be dangerous since it's not assimilated in the culture and people may get bumped in, said Sadek.

Although the clinic has documented records of the cases were carts were used, there is still no structured plan to help those with permanent health issues.

General Ashraf Kamal, the security director, presented a proposal for the administration to have official lists for students with permanent health issues.

Kamal didn’t get a reply and doesn’t know when a coordinated plan will be implemented.

Faculty members had regulations on what gate to use in the beginning of the semester.

They were “stupid laws”, said Pakinam Askalani, a chemistry professor.

This made movement impossible since we had to enter from one gate then walk all across campus to reach our offices, said Askalani. Such laws were cancelled.

Askalani thinks she is "lucky" her office and classes are in the same area or else it would be a problem.

But this was not the case in the beginning.

“Movement was hard due to the hot weather and fasting in Ramadan,” said Askalani.

But what about students who aren’t lucky enough to have their classes in one area?

“I only have ten minutes to walk across campus from one class to another,” said Amr Abdrabo, a sophomore. "Some professors are tough when it comes to coming on time."

Problems were predicted to occur once the construction is done.

Ihbrahim Naser, an anthropology major, said it will be a “major problem” once the P.V.A building and the food court are ready.

Students will then have to walk double the distance to reach classes, said Naser.

The clinic emphasized the fact that carts are for emergency cases only.

Only when students face radical health concern, a gulf car will be sent, said the acting director of the medical department, Mohammed Amin Saad.

The most recent documented case for using the passenger cart was a student with a fracture on October 8. One of earlier cases was an eight month pregnant faculty member.

Again , ultimate frustration!

ok , so, three RAs quit in engineering hotel and i'm the only survivor left! AUC doesn't do things professionally because i don't even have a contract. So , it's titled "part time job" , but they have every right to turn it to a full time job since there is no job description. Will this happen in the U.S? Maybe in slaughter houses with illegal immigrants, but definatley not on a campus of a pristigous university!!

i just want to get out of here because its ridiculously disorganized! ( i was called madam atallah by some angry parents last night!! is it my job to recieve calls about cockroches in the rooms?)

I will talk to the housing office tomorrow and see what they will do about it . But this is no time to play around; i have a gre to study for and a high gpa to maintain. i want to make it -enshala- to columbia then do war reporting for NYtimes; obviously , it needs hard work. I don't want to spend excessive time on finding out where the laundry of a girl disappered since the engineering hotel is so messed up.

i couldn't sleep yesterday night because i kept thinking of how I'll get my work done! i want to have piece of mind; and honeslty speaking , being an RA in engineering hotel isn't a rewarding job.

Hopefully when I write next week things will be great. for 2 days i haven't done my gre flash cards and i don't want it to to happen again and again.

way to go auc!

ok, they found a fox on campus. Way to go auc!! I’m sorry, but this is absurd! What if somebody gets hurt? Like in a scary movie?Ill be in the engineering hotel for the rest of the semester. I should though stay aware of not letting it get to me in terms of affecting my studying. I don’t study in the dorms; I do it in he library because its quiet and the lightning is comfortable. I should increase my studying hours in the library because now I have more work to do. Especially since I'm taking the gre next semester.I kind of stressed of not doing well in school because I have the ra job, schoolwork, and the gre. I’m an achiever in life, but now, I'm like: Sam, you need to do this. Please don’t let yourself down! I'm stressed about the gre especially the verbal part since my English isn’t like a native speaker’s.Most ras quit in the dorms because it’s too much work (its like a full time job labeled as a part time job). I’m not a quitter so I'm sticking to it. I just need to be more efficient when doing schoolwork and be more productive.I just need to wake up earlier and try to e more focused on what really matters to me. Sometimes, I just waste time which I shouldn’t because I can’t afford it.Enshala, I’ll stick more to my priorities especially reading more newspapers since it’ll help me in class and in my career.

RA in engineering hotel

i am pissed. im an ra in the dorms at AUC and we organized everything in order to move to the 3rd floor but now, they want us to move to the 2nd. i'm literally freaking out ! it's this mess and i have so mcuh school work ! :(.. i wish i can just set everything back to order.

It's important for me to strat seeing concrete results for my short-term goals. I had this goal of imroving my English language , and now i'm very ditracted by this move and being an R.A. Regular residents are having maing problems, just imagine what an R.A would be facing.

Please God make things easier and give me the courage to stay focused, not panic, and do things right.

me rambling since i cant do it in news stories for class!

i discovered lately that im not a blog type person.though i mght be that person in the future. heres the thing: ive always been a writer. i changed many things in my life, but the one only thing that i was always sure ill have was my writings.. i mainly write in arabic since its my first language .. i hope someday (soon enshala) my english will be as good as my arabic. i easily move from one place to another, a person to another, an experience to another, but what was always constant in my life was the fact that i write. its my way of making sense of the world around me ; sometimes its how i romancize my daily life.

when you start blogging, or even just publish your writings, you lost part of your "free-creative" self.. you strat seeing their eyes following you as you create your words.. "oh, this would be better.. they would like it more " .. gradually , you lose your distinct fingerprint and you just became a number among the endless masses...

i published some of my writings , but im always focued on embracing my individuality

when i write for auc classes, i usually avoid being myself(sad but true). creativity isnt big in the classes i took so far , except for my mutimedia class ( and no , im not trying to kiss your ass dr to get an a..) ,

what worries me is that im still chained in my writing style that i developed in auc for classes.. im always thinking: what would the professor think?and now that dr shaheen is giving me a chance to write what i want to write, im not using it as i should

ive lived in jordan for 18 years then moved to egypt. cairo taught me how to be aggressive (and hell ya, im an expert in it) .. maybe this is the case in big cities.. i want to live in NY; so it might be a good quality to fit in this crazy wonderful city..

i was thinking lately about capitalism and the materialistic culture .. i promised myself not to lose four things as i climb the ladder of success(hopefully, enshala) : my healthy habits like exercising and healthy food,creativty and art, spirituality , and socializing the way i define it ( yeah , networking is good, but we're humans, sometimes we just need a true friend to giggle with.. at least , i know i do )

socializing also includes giving more time to my family back home.. i dont call them as much as i should.. i get caught up in the fast-pace life here and lose track of time..

i also promised myslef not to turn to a machine.. i met so many people in my life whom i consider machines : just feul to move the capitalist wheel..

im more indepednent now than beofre.. im more aware of the fact that im the one responsible of my actions and that what i do now has consequences in the future... life is choices after all

i dont know if this is relevent but ill write it anway (its my blog after all ) .. i decided not to adopt the angry face that students on campus usually have.. not much smiling goes on .. its healthy for me and the society to smile; so im keeping my smiley face..

reading what i just wrote reminded me of how talkative i am.. in my kg certificate, my teacher wrote: a talkative girl.. my three brothers kept making fun of me.. maybe its a bliss since i want to be a journalist and talking to people gives you the real thing

i have all these extremely ambitious dreams and sometimes i obsessively think about it . what if i didnt get there? and then , i calm myself and tell her that: this is life.. life is now.. i sometimes get caught up in " life is a destination" , but then i remind myself that my life- as it is now- is absolutely amazing ..

my friend from jordan told me lately that i shine.. that i kept my spark.. :)

i hate it how people lose the spark as they grow older.. its sad

i realized lately that life is a combination of everything: of a mother's hug to her son , of an unexpected gift, of a tender touch from a lover, of a tear and a smile, of the faces that left but were carved in our hearts, of the sound of music, of our scattered memories on a forgotten mountain , of you and me.. of you and me..

-----------------

i dont know if this is good or bad, but im self -centred.. i know that in a way , all of us are.. but sometimes, im anxious that its more than it should be..

maybe , its cause i change things and move very quickly i developed this relationship with myself as my best friend, so im very attached to it that i give it the center of my attention..

its fuuny : im this social butterfly and at the same time this lone person,.. i dont really know how it works..

ok , heres my second enrty.. :).. enjoy this weekend all !!:)

(i felt that i talked too much ).. take care all

Just Stop Bitching for God's sake!!

Although people are excessively complaining about the new campus and the dorms (especially the engineering hotel and I actually live there), I think it’s essential to have a capacity to tolerate “not so great” conditions in life. For those who are bitching about the dorms not being a good environment to study , some people in this continent (especially in the South) don’t have a house to start with; and some of these people actually make it to ivy league schools.

What is worst, is a healthy 18 years student complaining because he or she has to walk(God forbid) long distances to reach class. Well, just move your ass! I mean , having a disability or being old is something , and then being young and healthy is a whole different story. Others are encountering bloody war on a daily basis and a young gentleman is bitching about having to move his ass for ten minutes!! Well, its really tough out there so don’t dramatize your “dreadful misery.”

Personally , I think life is about being fit. Life is all about challenges, and those who actually made it, saw more opportunities than obstacles. It’s tough out there, so instead of wasting your time and energy complaining , try changing things. If it didn’t work , adapt to them. Learn from those lizards who camouflage to keep themselves safe. I can already see a “I’m a smart ass” kid yelling sarcastically : We’re not lizards! Well, here’s a flash news: Humans are even better! They have reached the moon for God’s sake, destroyed entire cities with nuclear weapon , and found medicine for deadly diseases. So, don’t argue that humans aren’t creative enough or a adaptive enough. People find ways to make the best out of life and students at AUC should do that instead of their endless bitching!